Ice
by BlUeEyEdFrEaK13
Summary: Amelia Carroway looked around the room she was in. It was small and dark with no windows and was, overall, pretty boring. She had been waiting for a while; she wasn’t aware of the exact amount of time that had passed because there were no clocks..........
1. Chapter 1

Amelia Carroway looked around the room she was in. It was small and dark with no windows and was, overall, pretty boring. She had been waiting for a while; she wasn't aware of the exact amount of time that had passed because there were no clocks. It was all a trick, she knew because one of the first things that you learned in her line of work was how to recognize interrogation techniques. Others might start to fidget and sweat, but not her. Amelia knew exactly what was going on, they would come in as soon as they realized that she wasn't about to start panicking. There was no point to worrying, she was in control and the cops knew it, yet they still insisted on trying to break her. They were wasting their time, and hers. She already planned on talking, talking until there was nothing left to tell about. She would get revenge on those who had wronged her, but, for now, she had to wait.

***

The door to the interrogation room opened and a woman entered the interrogation room. She was tall, with brown hair. She appeared to be in her thirties and had a tired, worn out look on her face.

"I'm Mrs. Kelly and I'm here to talk to you Morgan."

"That's not my name, my name is Amelia, Amelia Carroway."

Oh sweet Jesus, a social worker.

Mrs. Kelly sat down and began to organize her papers. Amelia waited, beginning to lose patience with the crumpling and shuffling sounds that papers make when they are unending sorted. She cleared her throat, once, twice, three times.

Then the storm broke.

Amelia leaped out of her chair, knocking it over with a crash. "Dammit woman! I don't have much time. Do you want to talk to me or not? I have quite a bit to say if only someone would listen. I'm sure the cops would love to get the inside scoop on one of the largest meth operations in the city, but they won't be getting it if you keep stalling," screamed Amelia.

The social worker put down her papers and looked up. Her face remained calm as she studied the angry, pacing girl. "Please sit down. I'm sure we have much to talk about," Mrs. Kelly responded. Amelia sat down and looked her straight in the eye,

"Yes ma'am we do."

I followed the grimy man down the dark alley that was littered with paper and cigarette butts. I wasn't exactly sure where I was except for I knew it was somewhere in the bad part of town. What had I gotten myself into?

Some people would say that whatever I got, I had it coming. They would say "This is exactly why you don't do drugs." Well they don't know the whole story. They have never had to make the choice between clarity and near insanity and chosen insanity because it hurts less. I'm not a bad person. I have a reason to get the stuff that I'm gonna buy.

***

If only those preps could have kept their mouths shut. If only I had kept my damn preferences to myself, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have had to see my girlfriend in the hospital because some homophobes decided they didn't like the fact that she dated girls. If only I had been there, I could have done something, even if it was to distract them enough so that they would leave Lisa alone.

I wasn't there.

I was supposed to be. She was waiting for me at the park. I was late. Why am I always late? I got there in time to see the police. I got there in time to see her mashed up face before they loaded her into the ambulance.

I didn't get there in time to make a difference.

She won't talk to me. I want to tell her how sorry I am, that it's all my fault.

But she already knows that. There's no point in talking to me.

***

I was at a friend's the first time I used heroin. I had been hanging out with some of my less than savory friends and it was the first time I had gone out in over two months. We were sitting in my friend, Matt's room and some of the guys were shooting up some brown liquid I didn't know the name of, when Matt asked me if I wanted some.

"Come on Morgan, do you even know what this stuff does? It makes you happy, really, really happy. I think you need to be happy. You can't cry over your girlfriend forever, you need to move on. This stuff can help you do that. Just a little couldn't hurt."

I looked at the syringe, then at the heated liquid, then the syringe again. Happiness in a needle. Matt was right, I did need to be happy.

"Sure. I'll try some. But you'll need to be in charge of the syringe, I've never done this before and I hate needles"

As Matt got everything ready. I rolled up my sleeve and braced myself for the pain that I knew would come along with the injection into my vein. I watched as he filled the syringe with the drug and winced as he put the needle into my arm. As Matt pressed on the plunger of the syringe, I asked, "What's this stuff called?"

"Heroin"

***

During the weeks that followed, I became more and more dependent on the feelings that the drug brought. First it was want, then need, that drove me to buy heroin from Matt, but as time went on, he no longer was willing to sell it to me because of my constant need for more and more. He did, however, point me in the right direction, so that I could buy more from some people he knew.

"What had I gotten myself into?" I thought to myself as my reverie was broken by a nearby gunshot. Suddenly the man halted and turned around to face me, "Wait here, I'll go get the person you're looking for," he said and disappeared into a nearby house.

Great.

Not only am I buying drugs in the middle of the night, in a part of town I've never been in before, now I'm alone.

I didn't have to stand long, though, before a different man came out of the building. He was tall and lanky with greasy black hair that fell over the left side of his face. His hands were heavily scarred from what I assumed to be knives and fist fights, while his arms were covered in puncture marks that were hauntingly similar to my own. He was like me.

"Do you have the money?" he asked with a crooked grin. I handed it to him and he gave me a small bag of yellowish-brown powder. I realized then, that I had spent the last of the money I had saved up from bagging groceries.

"I need a job. Is there anyone down here that would hire me?" I asked him nervously, expecting at any moment to have a knife pulled on me for asking too many questions.

But this wasn't a movie. He just smiled and said sweetly, "Come back on Tuesday, " before disappearing back into the house that he had come out of.

**


	2. Chapter 2

I own these characters so there's no disclaimer!

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At school the next day I couldn't keep my mind off what had happened the night before. I felt amazed and rather shocked that I had survived my first encounter with an actual drug dealer. The adrenaline rush had been almost as good as the heroin and I looked forward to going back to that house again on Tuesday. Three days. Three days to imagine what my life would be like working for... actually, I had no idea who I would be working for. Just as I was beginning to enter my own little world, the one brought on by drugs and imagination, Helen nudged me and said "Look. I drew a picture of the breakfast monkey."

The breakfast monkey.

I had just been drawn back from that misty and painless world for the fucking breakfast monkey.

"That's great Helen."

Helen gave me a confused look. Then realization dawned on her face.

"You're high again."

This was not a question, it was a statement. The Civics classroom was very clear and bright. The walls were a whitish color, made slightly more interesting due to the various maps and posters of past presidents on them. It was a small room, only about twenty people would be able to fit there comfortably. Only a moment ago it had been starting to fade into a world of gray shapes and formless figures that both terrified and amazed me. A world of nothing that held everything that mattered to me. The only thing that matters was the nothing. There was no pain. There was no fear. Just a gray nothing that filled me up and embraced me. Sometimes I saw things, horrible, ugly things. But only if I took a higher amount. I was careful not to take that much. I didn't want fear. That's why I took the heroin in the first place, to escape the fear. It's funny how everything in life has a perfect balance.

The bell rang.

The whole class practically ran for the door, with the exception of me of course. By this time, I was lucky to be able to stand. The room swirled fuzzily in front of me. I managed to take about 3 steps before the floor vanished from under my feet. Helen helped me to pick up my books and she guided me towards the door rather disapprovingly.

"It's going to kill you. I hope you know that."

"You've said this before."

"Only because I don't think you get that part of it."

I shrugged at this and made to walk off on my own. I didn't get very far before the floor lurched and I fell into the wall. The narrow gray hallway was beginning to fade in and out. That beautiful misty place was beginning to creep in on the hallways. The numbness was coming on again and I knew that the rest of the day would be a whirl of vague colors and muted sounds. I don't remember anything past this and it wasn't until I got home that afternoon that things started to make sense again.

Maybe, just maybe, Helen could have been right.

Tuesday night finally came. I snuck out of my window on the fire escape ladder my mother had given me as a birthday present last year. We lived in town, not far from the address I was headed to. It was farther than I would have liked to walk, but the night air was pleasantly cool and there was a slight breeze that played with my long, brown hair. The street lamps offered some light, but the moon put them all to shame. I liked the night. It was beautiful and, as I would soon learn, deadly.

I arrived at the house where I had bought the heroin. My palms began to sweat as I walked towards the door. I took a deep breath and knocked.

Nothing happened.

What was I expecting? A guy to open the door and shoot me? I felt foolish for letting my imagination run away with me. Just as I was about to turn and leave, the door opened. It was the same guy as before. Except this hair was different. It appeared recently washed. He smiled and said, "You came back. I was afraid you wouldn't. You're a bit late I'm afraid so, if we may proceed." At this he made a rather elegant flourish and started walking quickly towards wherever we were headed.

I caught up with him and he made an attempt at what I suppose was conversation.

"I'm Cai Dawson. What's the name you go by? In other words, don't give me your real one. You'll be too easy to track down if you do that. If you've ever wished you could pick your own name, now's your chance."

I thought about what he said for a few moments and tried to decide on a name. I looked into my past to see if there was something, anything, to give me inspiration. When I was younger I had a friend named Amelia who killed herself. Then I thought of my last name: Carley. I decided to do something close to it so that if I slipped, it would be close enough that I could catch myself. I found exactly what I was looking for.

"It's Amelia Carroway."

"That's a good one. Don't forget it. Now, back to business, when we get where we're going, don't look anyone in the eye unless you want your head bitten off. Don't speak unless spoken to. Don't give anyone lip. That one's important, if you do, you could get killed and that's a pretty stupid reason to die."

Cai had a point. We walked in silence for a bit and I tried to absorb all of what he had said. Apparently we had reached our destination, because he stopped suddenly in front of an old and falling apart warehouse. The roof was tin and rusted, while the walls looked like they could use a new coat of paint. He looked at me for a moment and his eyes suddenly were dangerously cold and serious where only moments before had been playful, good humor. Finally he looked me in the eyes and said, "And don't let anyone walk all over you. You may be new, but you need to show that you're not afraid of them. If you don't, they'll only take advantage of you.I know you're nervous but, chin up, shoulders straight." I adjusted my position until I stood reasonably straight and did my best not to look at my shoes. The well- natured light returned to his eyes as he said, "Much better. That's the way to make a good impression."

Cai opened the door and I discovered who "they" were.

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please review tell me what you think. I'll post the 3rd chapter tomarrow and the 4 th chapter next weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this took so long to come out. Writers block along side with my parents are divorsed so I only get internet every other weekend.

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Cai walked through he door and I followed him through it. The people on the other side of the door weren't at all like I had imagined. They didn't look mean at all, tired, no, exhausted and worn down. There were three people sitting around a table, two guys and a girl. The guys had been talking but had stopped as soon as they saw me. One of them looked about my age. He was only 5'2" at the most and had long dark brown hair. The other one was much taller and quite thin. He had messy blond hair and was quite pale. Leaning against the table near his feet was an orange baseball bat. The girl was black haired and pretty. She was lost in thought and only glanced at me before going back to her own little world. Further off there was a man at a desk going through paperwork.

Cai led me past the table towards the man at the desk. He stopped in front of the desk and told the man, "This is the one I was telling you about. I think she's got talent. She's smart and catches on fast." The man looked up and studied me. I thought his eyes were going to burn me with the intensity of his gaze.

"She may learn fast, the real question is if she can think fast."

He went back to doing his paperwork and completely ignored me. I was growing impatient when suddenly he leaped for my throat wiht a knife. Time slowed down for me and I sort of ducked and tried to move out of the way. I almost succeeded. He brought the hilt of the knife down on my shoulder and I yelped in pain. When I looked back up at him, he was grinning.

"Welcome to the family. Cai will introduce you to everyone. You start training tomorrow night. For today you'll just stay here and watch to see how we run things. I'm James, by the way, your new employer." James was a young man of average height. He looked about twenty. He had short black hair that was slicked back in a most peculiar way. James was nothing like the people sitting at the table, he looked healthier and crueler. I decided then that I never intended to cross him.

Cai led me towards the round table where the other runners were sitting. "This is Amelia Carroway." he said to everyone. I learned their names. The short guy was Jeremy, the blond guy was Spenser and the girl was Arlais. Cai warned me that she didn't like to talk much. The one named Spenser gestured towards the empty chair next to Jeremy and said, "Sit down, we don't bite. Oh, wait, Jeremy does." I took this to mean that no one at the table intended to kill me. The last thing I wanted to do, however, was sit next to someone who bites, but I saw that I had no choice and sat down anyway. Up close, Jeremy looked...feminine. He wasn't bad looking. The only way I could describe him was with one word: beautiful. He was pretty scarred, and one of his arms looked like it had burned badly, but these things gave him character, personality.

No one was talking. The room fizzled with tension. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and I blurted out, "Do you really bite?"

The reaction I received was not what I had expected. Everyone at the table began to laugh and I myself had to agree that what I said must have sounded pretty amusing. After he had finished snorting with laughter, Jeremy replied, "Yes. It's a sign of affection." From that moment, I realized that while I hadn't yet been fully accepted, I had passed some sort of test and was met with silent approval. I looked over at Cai and he nodded ever so slightly to show that I had done well.

And so went the birth of Amelia Carroway.

The next night, I snuck out and made my way to the warehouse from the night before. Cai had told me that I should be there on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, but I could be called in to work at other times as well if someone didn't show. I would work from 10 PM until my run was over, which was usually around 2-3 AM. For now, I wouldn't be working alone. Every night I would tag along with Cai, who would teach me the basics of the trade.

As I walked down the street, I smiled ever so slightly. I had never noticed it before, but I had always though that at night the streets would be deserted.I was wrong.

There were girls standing on street corners. They probably sold their bodies for the same reason I delivered drugs: They needed the money to support their habits. I saw some guys about my age walking down the streets with duffel bags. I steered clear of them because I didn't know if they were from a rival sector or not. No one was out for a midnight stroll. Every denizen of the night had a purpose, a reason for being there. There wasn't anyone that "just wanted a breath of fresh air."

These were people that the average person would fear and shy away from. They were outcasts from society, they were the rejects and the people that no one wanted anything to do with. But they had joined together and created the society of the night, a society all their own. None of the people that had thrown them away entered the realms of the night. These people could do as they pleased, without the pressures of social acceptibilities weighing them down. I envied them. I wasn't one of them, not yet.

I arrived at the warehouse around 9:55. I went inside and sat down at the table in the same place as the night before; I didn't want to sit in someone else seat and get into trouble. Jeremy and Spenser weren't there. I wasn't surprised. From what Cai had told me, the two of them were pretty close. Jeremy stuck to Spenser like glue. Spenser had been Jeremy's mentor when he had first started working, but even being this close was unusual for this business. I smiled as I remembered the events of the night before. As I looked around, I noticed that I wasn't alone.

The black-haired girl named Arlais was sitting across the table from me, I couldn't believe that I had missed her when I came in. It felt rude to just ignore her, so in an attempt at conversation, I said, "Hi, I didn't see you when I came in." Arlais kind of glared at me from underneath her hair. I was a little put off, but being stubborn, I had to finish what I had started. "Hey...uh, where is everybody?" She looked at me and looked as if she didn't intend to answer, but at the last minute, she must have changed her mind because she answered, "You're really stubborn aren't you? To shut you up I guess I'll have to answer your question, that doesn't mean we're friends or anything. Now that I've gotten that out of the way I'll tell you: Spenser had to go out- don't ask me what he's doing, it's none of your business. Jeremy, being Jeremy, went with him. But honestly, I don't blame him. Who wants to hang around with a b!tch (ah I hate being censored) like me anyway? James had to go to a meeting with HIS boss and left about twenty minutes ago. Cai hasn't shown up yet. That bumbling idiot is always late. There, you happy now?"

I guess I was a bit taken aback by this outburst because for a few seconds I just sat there and tried to take it all in. I didn't understand what Aralais had against me or why she had been so hostile. After I had regained my ability to speak, I just said "Thanks for filling me in." and sat in silence for about ten minutes until Cai came in.

He was laughing and talking to Spenser. Jeremy was trailing behind, grinning from ear to ear. I didn't realize just how short he was until I saw him standing next to Cai and Spenser. The top of his head would be just about level with my eyeballs. Something wasn't quite right about him, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Cai saw me sitting at the table and looked slightly surprised, as if he had forgotten that I would be waiting here. Maybe Arlais was right, he probably was a bumbling idiot. I didn't even know he was all that close to Spenser. He had told me a lot about how everyone felt about everyone else. The "politics" of the little group, so to speak. Oh well, I guess there are some things I will never understand.

"Is James here?" Cai asked. After looking around and realizing that he wasn't he mumbled quietly to himself, "Not like it matters anyway. He said he'd leave me a list with my customers for tonight on it. I did need to ask him something though..." at this he trailed off and he began to look around for the list. I didn't really pay attention. A few minutes later he must have found it because he tapped me on the shoulder and waved a pink post-it note in my face. "Here we go. I found it! It's time for your training to begin young grasshopper." At this he did some flying-kung-fu-ninja-stuff and spazzed his way out the warehouse door. I hurried to catch up with him. As I turned to close the door behind me, I saw Jeremy and Spenser trying to keep their expressions of pity at bay. It wasn't working.

When I caught up with Cai, his expression was serious, the way it had been last night when he told me not to let people push me around. He pointed at the sticky note and told me about the places we were going to go.

"Tonight we're going to make three deliveries. Their names are Jack, Demelza and Nathaniel. To the left of the names is the address, the amount they ordered and the price. Never give them anything until they hand over the money. That's important. You also want to make sure that none of them seem twitchy or nervous. Yeah, it could just be withdrawal, but more often then not, it means that someone is about to try and kill you. They figure it'll just be easier if they kill you and take everything you've got on you at the time. We'd all feel bad if you died of course, but more importantly-to James at least- it means we lose a customer. We can't have them getting ideas. If they get away with something like that, odds are they're gonna try it again. When it comes to that point, there's nothing left to do 'cept kill em."

"Now the three we have tonight are generally okay, Jack's a little iffy. I've never had any trouble with Nathaniel or Demelza. Arlais said that Nathaniel was a little strung once and got a bit violent when he heard the price. But then again, who wouldn't? This stuff is pretty pricey. Anyway, its Jack Frell you've got to watch out for. He has a thing for young boys. We can hardly have Jeremy make deliveries to him anymore. Jack's a real sicko. If he tries anything just back off and do your best to discourage him without pissing him off too much. For your sake we'll do him last tonight so that you can get a feel for the line of work before having to deal with him."

Cai and I arrived at the first house after walking for about twenty minutes down the gray and dismal street. Looking back, I realize that it probably wasn't the street that was gray and dismal, it was me. It's like I had gone and grabbed a shovel and begun to dig my own grave. The hole wasn't that deep yet, but it was getting deeper. This wasn't the first time I had begun to have doubts, no, I had been having them all along. They whispered in my ear, they gave me no rest, but I knew I had come too far to turn back. I had gone far enough to be a nobody, but too far to go back to being Morgan Carley. She was someone else, she was someone that would never look at alcohol, and would never dream of shooting up heroin. Morgan Carley did as she was told. She was the star child, the daughter that everyone wished they had. For too long she had been chained by the expectations of society, yet somehow, through pain and drugs, she had found a place where maybe she didn't have to be so perfect.

I realized that I didn't have to try very hard to look like an angel as soon as I saw Demelzas house. I had no idea how it managed to remain upright. Shingles were falling off the roof, the door was off its hinges, one of the windows looked as if it had been shot out, and the rest of the house was also in varying stages of disrepair. It's a miracle that the whole thing hadn't been condemned. I hadn't even met the woman living inside, yet somehow, I felt sorry for her. She gave up everything just so that she could have the drugs. What kind of person would do that?

Cai continued to walk up the driveway that connected the house to the rest of the world. When he reached the door, he knocked. The door was opened by a small woman that looked sick and underfed. Her arms were bruised, and in some places, bloody from sticking a syringe in her arm. She was a mess. Her hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a very long time and there was dirt under her ragged, bitten nails.

Demelza went over to a small box and carefully lifted the lid. I noticed that her hands were shaking horribly. She took a small parcel out of the box and brought it over to Cai. Cai carefully took the parcel and handed over the drugs. The entire deal was done in silence. Until we were about to walk out the door. At the last minute Cai turned and said softly, so softly that I almost missed it, "I'll bring you more on Tuesday, mom."

She really had given up everything, even her own son.

I was shocked by the discovery of Cai's origins. He was a nice guy and I didn't want to embarrass him, so I walked next to him in silence, my eyes aimed stubbornly at the ground. He must have caught on to what I was doing though, because he looked at me and said, "You don't have to pretend you didn't hear that. I'm not proud of where I come from, but I can't judge. It's not like I turned out any better. I'd rather you didn't tell anyone about that though. If someone were trying to get to me, they might go after her. I don't think I could stand that." He didn't meet my eyes as I promised I wouldn't; I think his past hurt him more than he cared to admit.

We walked on in silence until we reached the next house. The silence wasn't hostile though. It was the kind of silence you get when so much has been said, that there's nothing left to say. Cai seemed to want to be alone with his thoughts and I let him be. After all, he'd been coping by himself just fine before I came along and probably wouldn't want my sympathy anyway.

The house we stopped at was in much better condition than the last one. The front lawn was a bit overgrown, but the house itself seemed painfully normal. Nothing was broken or in extreme disrepair. The door was painted blue. I'm not quite sure that detail stuck, it just seemed to pop out at me. Cai knocked on the blue door. We waited for a few minutes, but no one answered. Cai knocked again. By this time, the warning bells in my head started to go off. I'm not sure why, but something didn't seem quite right.

Then it hit me.

Nathaniel was an addict. I was an addict. If it were me, I would be there when my drugs got deliverd. I would need them. Something must have gone horribly wrong if the man that was supposed to meet us didn't show up. It was that, I desperately hoped it was, because if it wasn't, it meant that my mentor and I had just walked into a trap.

"Cai, something's wrong."

He looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind. Now that I think about it, my whole thought process seemed pretty screwed up. Really, what drug addict would be able to successfully ambush someone as dangerous as Cai? The more I thought about it, the sillier it seemed, until finally, I was able to cast it out of my mind completely. To prevent myself from looking too foolish, I amended my statement with a quick "Never mind," and began to walk back to the road. I yelped when one of Cai's scarred hands grabbed the back of my collar and yanked me back.

"Who said you could leave? We haven't finished our job here. We can't leave until this is delivered, unless you want to go back to James and explain that you were frightened of one the customers. If that is the case, I suggest you find different employment."

This was the first time I had been disciplined, and it wounded my pride severely, but I had already learned not to look someone in the eye as you're being punished because they might consider it impertinence. That didn't stop me from picturing myself kicking Cai really hard in the balls.

"We're going in there, and if I have any trouble from you, it's not Nathaniel you'll have to be worried about. Stay out of the way and have your knife ready."

Cai opened the door and slid inside, yes I do mean slid. It looked like he was gliding, he that graceful. I followed him inside. I closed the door all but an inch, so that if we needed to make a quick escape, I wouldn't need to fight with the door. The inside of the house was dark, it actually looked like no one was home. I could barely see Cai ahead of me in the blackness. He crept along very slowly and checked every so often to make sure that I was still behind him. Everything was fine until we reached the kitchen.

Cai was ahead of me. He went through the doorway that led to the kitchen. A split second later, I heard a loud crash, which was followed by the sounds of a scuffle. I rushed into the kitchen in time to see Cai lying on the floor, with a tall man standing over him. There was no time to think, I grabbed the nearest thing, a chair, and hurled it at the man. Let me get this out of the way now, I'm not exactly that strong. All I managed to do was distract the man, but looking back, this was probably pretty stupid.

The significance of what I had done hit me and I turned to run. I made it about five steps before my body was crushed up against the wall. The man had his whole body pressed up against mine. I felt something like ice rip down my arm, then fiery pain. A knife, he had a knife and I didn't. I tried in vain to reach my pocket, but one of my arms was pinned behind my back, and the other was on the wrong side of my body. I struggled and fought, except it was too dark, I couldn't see where I was aiming and I didn't want to impale myself on the knife. I swung out with my free arm and smacked him on the side of the head. The man grabbed my arm and began to twist it around. I heard the "pop" as it got pulled out of socket; my arm was useless. The pain didn't register right away, but when it did, I screamed.

It was too dark to tell, but Cai must have gotten up and grabbed the guy, because all of a sudden the pressure was taken off my body. It was too sudden, in fact, and I slid down the wall to the floor, whimpering and cradling my arm. I heard a crack as something hard collided with something else. I heard the crack again. Then, everything was still and silent. The lights came on in a sudden burst and I was blinded. I felt someone walking towards me, he had something in his right hand. I covered my eyes with my good hand and scrambled backwards in fear.

This was it, the end. I didn't want to die. I was going to go down in history as the worst runner ever, dying on the first night of work. Hell, I wasn't even going to die bravely, I was going to expire cowering on the floor in terror.

Nothing happened.

No, seriously. My eyes had adjusted to the light enough, that I could see that it was only Cai walking towards me with a bloody crowbar. He knelled down next to me and examined my arm. I couldn't bear to see my arm all mangled and bloody, so I looked away. There was blood everywhere. It was all down the wall where I had been when my arm was cut. But more obviously, there was a huge pool of it. Just over Cai's shoulder, I could see the man's body. His face had been smashed in and his head seemed crushed.

A bloody crowbar.

Cai had been holding a bloody crowbar.

I was sitting with a murderer

The fact that Cai had just killed a person hadn't quite settled in yet, at the time, all I cared about was getting my arm fixed. I had lost a lot of blood and the room was starting to spin. I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't get dizzy. I was about to black out from the pain and blood loss when I heard Cai's voice.

"Did you honestly think I was going to kill you?"

"Being beaten to death doesn't sound like fun."

"I guess not. Don't worry I won't ever to that to you."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise. Can you walk?"

"I think so."

"I'd try to fix your arm here, but you'd probably smack me in the face. It'll be easier to do back at the warehouse where someone can help me."

At this, I stood up and began to walk towards the door. My arm still hurt pretty badly, but the bleeding had stopped and I was no longer as dizzy, so I managed to walk the rest of the way back to the warehouse with Cai. We must have looked pretty beat up, because when we walked through the door, Spenser immediately stood up and Jeremy quickly followed. Cai walked me to a chair and pushed me into it. He told Spenser, "She got her arm pulled out of socket, will you hold her down while I pop it back in? Oh, by the way, she saw me kill someone and hasn't gone into shock yet, so it'll be any time now." He then looked at me and said simply, "This is gonna hurt."

That was an understatement.

Words cannot describe the pain of having your arm put back in its socket. It's not fun, I don't recommend it. End of story.

After my arm was repaired, I sat in the chair for several moments, trying to regain my composure. As the pain subsided, the events of the past hour hit me like a huge wave.

Needless to say, I panicked. My body started to shake and I began to hyperventilate. Everyone in the room looked at me as I stood up and began to tear at my hair. Cai tried to come over to calm me down, but I freaked out even more. Spenser backed away from me like I was going to kill him or something. Jeremy just looked at me and said, "Let's take a walk," and he put his arm around my waist and led me gently to the door.

The night was cool and I felt a bit better as soon as I stepped outside. Jeremy led me down the road in silence. After a few minutes, I could breathe again, even though my shaking hadn't stopped yet. Jeremy reached into his jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Want a cancer stick?" he asked. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have taken one, but I was really stressed out. "Yeah, sure." I replied. He pulled out a lighter, a nice one, it was metal, with the tarot card "death" on it. He lit my cigarette and his own, then put the lighter back in his pocket.

After taking a drag on the cigarette, he looked at me and said, "You're not the usual type we get down here. Most of the people we get working for us are runaways and people that are just as sick and twisted as I am. You puzzle me, you really do. You look like some straight-edge, catholic school girl, and that makes me wonder. How the hell did you get involved with drugs in the first place?"

I guess he was asking for my life story. Well, he wasn't about to get it. But somehow, I trusted him. Jeremy was different from Cai, Spenser and definitely James. Arlais had her own past to reckon with, so I didn't judge her. There was just something about Jeremy, it was just the gut feeling that you could trust him, whether you knew him that well or not. This overwhelming sense of trust must have taken over my mind, because somehow I heard myself telling him everything. He didn't comment, he just stood there and listened. Maybe if someone had done that in the beginning, I wouldn't be here.

When I reached the end of my tale, he stood silently for a moment before saying, "That's pretty sad. At least you have a reason...well...a good reason. I don't. In my case, you could just blame it on genetics. A pretty dumb excuse, eh?"

All this time, I'd been trying to use what happened as an excuse for doing drugs. All this time, I had seen myself as the victim. Suddenly, I wasn't the victim anymore. I was the only one responsible for my actions, and I needed to face that. Everything hit me, the guilt, the pain, the fear. I'd been holding back tears for so long, I just couldn't stop them anymore. I cried. That's right, I stood in the street and cried. The tears wouldn't stop coming, they just came pouring out of me. Jeremy stood next to me and just kept smoking his cigarette. He looked away from me, he was trying to ignore my shame. He reached the end of the cigarette. I saw him throw it into the dirt and grind it out with his foot. I was still crying, it didn't feel like I would ever stop.

Then the weirdest thing happened.

I was just standing there, with my face buried im my hands, when Jeremy hugged me. He didn't hold on very long before jumping back and looking at the ground like he was embarrassed. I was so shocked, that I stopped crying right then. As I stood there in complete disbelief, Jeremy looked at me and said, "I guess I'm not very good at comforting people, I just end up scaring them. But, I do have a bit of advice that you might find helpful: Don't worry about tomorrow, 'cause it probably won't come. Just live your life as it comes along. And when you die, make sure you've got no regrets."

At this, he just turned away and began to walk back to the warehouse

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hey since I never posted the third chapter like I said I would I made this one longer tell me how you like it.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

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The fresh air helped a lot, and when I returned to the warehouse, I was completely calm. I sat down at the table in my usual place and stared off into space. I wasn't long with my thoughts, however, before Cai came upto me and said, "We're going to have to go back. We can't just leave the body there like that. Then we need to finish the run. If you want to back out now, me and everyone else will look the other way as you leave the warehouse and never return. It's the only chance you'll get to live a normal life. If I were you, I'd run out that door and never look back."

This offer was very tempting, for I had no desire to clean up a dead body and drag it off to god knows where, but my pride wouldn't allow me to back down. I also knew that there was no way that I could afford my drugs if I didn't keep the job. The possibility of a normal life was out of the question, no matter which way you look at it.

So, I decided to keep working.

***

When Cai and I arrived at Nathaniel's house, everything was just as we had left it; lights on, with a body on the floor. By this time, the blood had started to dry in some places and the stench was horrible. It was the smell of fresh blood. Cai taught me how to clean up the blood with bleach. While I was working on that, he dragged the body out back and made a phone call. I didn't even want to know who he was calling. After a little while, he came back inside and helped me clean up the rest of the blood. When we were done, we didn't leave. Instead we waited. I guess I was going to meet the people that Cai just had a talk with. I didn't like that idea.

Cai didn't try to make conversation, he just sat on the floor, staring off into space. At some point, I must have dozed off, because I remember Cai shaking me and saying

"Flaggs here. He brought the truck."

Flagg was a tall guy, that had red hair, and only eight fingers. He was missing the pinky and the ring finger on his left hand. But even this was normal, compared to the fact that he only had one eye. He wore a patch over the missing one, so it wasn't like there was some gaping hole in his head.

He went over to Cai and asked quickly "Where's the body?" Cai led him out back and together they lifted the body and carried it out to Flaggs red truck. They carefully laid it in the bed of the truck and covered it with a tarp. I stood by the road a few feet from the truck and watched the whole operation in silence. Flagg got in and started the vehicle, while Cai got in on the passenger side. He frantically gestured for me to get in the truck before Flagg drove off.

We drove out of the city and just kept driving for about fifteen minutes, then we turned down a road, then down another one until I had no idea where we were. For about five minutes, we had been driving through a forest. Then the pavement ended and we began driving on an old, dirt road.

Ohhh shit.

This wasn't going to end well. I could see that much. We just kept going deeper and deeper into the forest. When it felt like an eternity had passed, we finally stopped. Flagg got out of the truck and me and Cai followed suit. Flagg took the body out of the truck bed and heaved it over his shoulder. The broken and crushed skull smacked against his back, leaving a bloody stain. In his other hand he grabbed a can of gasoline that had been in the truck bed with the body. He walked calmly into the forest and we followed him. I couldn't see, so I just followed the wet smacking noise that a squished head makes as it bumps against someone's back. After walking for about ten minutes, he suddenly stopped, and threw the body on the ground. We were in a clearing.

Flagg dumped the can of gasoline all over the body, he then lit a match and threw it on top. The clearing was illuminated with the sudden burst of flame.

Cremation, yum.

After the flames had died down a bit, and the smell of burnt hair had subsided, Flagg stood up and began walking back to the truck. As much as I didn't want to get back in the vehicle with this strange and twisted young man, I had no choice if I wanted to get back to the city. To be honest, I had no idea where I even was. We got back to the truck and drove off. The ride home was uneventful; no one spoke. By nature, I'm assuming Flagg wasn't very talkative and Cai seemed much quieter than usual. I attributed this to the fact that he didn't feel comfortable around Flagg, and to tell the truth, I didn't blame him. Flagg was creepy and had his own agenda. I was curious about his missing body parts, but I didn't ask about them because it would be rude.

When we arrived back at the warehouse, it was almost dawn. The eastern sky was tinged with the first rays of dawn (oh how cliche) and I had to get back home before my parents noticed I was missing. After bidding farewell to Cai, I ran down the street, headed for home.

***

Needless to say, in school the next day, I was absolutely exhausted.

I slept through all my classes, and nothing Ramone or Helen did could persuade me to leave my comatose state. The only time I managed to wake up enough to accomplish anything, was at lunch. Food has that effect on me. As I mindlessly gnawed on a rubbery cheeseburger, Helen nudged me and said,

"Well? How did it go?"

"How did what go?"

"You know...your new job."

"I don't remember telling you that. I guess I was probably stoned. But it went fine. I barely got home in time to get ready for school, there were...delays."

"Delays?"

"Yeah, a friend of mine killed some guy and we had to cremate him."

The look of shock on Helen and Ramones faces was definitely worth waking up to see. But, after several moments of looking at their mouths hanging open and huge eyes, I got bored and said,

"Don't worry I'm just kidding."

I really wish I was.

As time went on, I got better at my work and gained a little respect from my coworkers. I hadn't met Jack Frell yet, even though Cai guaranteed me that I would. My runs consisted of generic junkies. Most had very little personality and the only things I ever remembered about them was their name, their face, and their address. I only remembered these things for business purposes, and also so I could watch out to make sure I didn't run into anyone while shopping.

Me and Cai became close. Even though I no longer went with him on his runs and did my own work, I usually tagged along with him when he trailed runners, if I had time. He was cheery and fun to talk to, so I didn't mind the sleep I missed while wandering around in the middle of the night with him. He didn't mind me coming along, except when he was out with Spenser. When he was, I just knew not to ask and I let him be. It was times like these where I was glad to have Jeremy. He was also ditched by his usual cohort, and so we hung out together, waiting for our masters to return. If I had spare time and Cai was out with Spenser (an occurrence that was relatively frequent) I would go with Jeremy on his run, or he would come with me on mine if he was the one with time and I was the one working. If neither of us had anything to do, we would walk down the street together in the middle of the night.

Jeremy wasn't as talkative as Cai, nor was he as easygoing and playful. His personality was dark and sadistic. While I had never seen him be downright cruel, I knew that side of him was there, and I also knew I never wanted to see it. He was emotionless. His smiles meant nothing more than amusement, his laughter was nothing more than a facade. Even so, I counted him as a friend. I didn't know if he felt the same way about me, and I knew for certain that he didn't trust me, but we got along well together and neither of us asked the other too many questions. If a question was asked, there was an unspoken agreement stating that the question didn't have to be answered.

In this way, several months passed. Arlais was still as cold to me as ever and James still looked at me with disinterest. Nothing major happened. A few new runners showed up for a while, but they usually left after several weeks, bound back to whatever warehouse in our sector that they came from. I never wished that I was a member of a larger warehouse in our sector, for we were the smallest one and had the smallest staff. I could get transferred if I wanted to, but I liked how close everyone was and I had already settled in, so there was no point in moving.

I changed the course of my history drastically on one of the nights where I was out walking with Jeremy. That night I made a choice. If I hadn't done this, things may have turned out very differently. I don't know if I made the right choice that night, and looking back, I realize I don't have enough time to judge. But needless to say, my actions set things into motion, that I have yet to understand, and the penalties for which, have yet to come full circle.

The warehouse was empty, save for Arlais, and since she could hardly be considered pleasant company, Jeremy and I decided to take a walk. We walked in silence, but this wasn't unusual since we didn't need to talk to enjoy being together. I'll never know what compelled me to spill my guts to Jeremy that night, but I did.

"Jeremy, you know that I really like you."

"Yes, I could tell."

"So, if I were to ask you out, would you go out with me?"

"Is this a hypothetical situation? If it is, then yes, I would go out with you."

"And if it weren't?"

"If it weren't, then I should be the one wondering if you would go out with me."

"What do you mean?"

"Amelia, how much do you honestly know about me? I'm not all that I appear, and I would feel guilty if I were to date you under false pretenses. I am a gentleman...of sorts."

"You're getting at something. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I honestly wouldn't care. If you're gay, you could just say it. It's not like you'd be the odd one out, I've got my suspicions about Cai and Spenser. It's not that big of a deal."

"Well...you're close. It's kinda hard to explain. I guess I am...in a way. Well you see, um..."

"Yes?"

"Dammit. You might as well know. I'm a girl."

My mouth hung open for several minutes before I could do anything useful with it, such as form words. I made some sounds that were mostly incoherent gibberish, but eventually gave up. In the end I managed to spit out, "You do know I date girls right?" Yeah, it probably wasn't the best thing to say, but it was better than standing there and looking stupid.

It was Jeremy's turn to look surprised. He stuttered something that I could only guess to mean, "I had no idea." even though it sounded like, "I-ha-nidea." The only thing we could do was stand there awkwardly, which we accomplished with ease. All at once, there seemed to be so much I had to say, so much I wanted to say. Eventually I got up my courage and asked, "Will you give it a shot?"

There are many things that surprise me, nothing is ever what it seems. Jeremy's hugs are one of those things. He never shows emotion. I never would have guessed his body would be so soft. He always looked so tall, in reality, the top of his head only came up to my eyeballs. I had always seen him as something male, something dominant. For the first time, I saw Jeremy for who he truly was. He was a she. He was tender and delicate. He was a girl.

I hugged him back.

We stood there for a while, not saying anything. If the situation were different, I would have wondered why I was hugging a guy like this before we had even gone out yet, but circumstances for me were different now. Jeremy was my best friend. He understood me, it's why he never asked questions, and why we didn't need to talk to enjoy being together. For the first time, I realized what having a best friend felt like. I was content to stand there all night, and the both of us probably would have, but people were starting to notice. It was best to move on and continue later in private.

We got back to the warehouse. James told me that I had no more runs to make. Even though I didn't want to leave Jeremy so soon, I was tired. For the past week I had only been getting two hours of sleep every night. Since I was getting off work early, I might actually get at least four. I couldn't let this chance slide. After talking to James, I said goodbye to Jeremy and left the warehouse. I was about halfway down the street when I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned around, I saw Jeremy running with a scrap of paper. He caught up and as he gave me the piece of paper he said, "That's my address and phone number. You can come by tomorrow after school. We have a lot to discuss." I smiled and nodded and continued on my way home. Jeremy walked with me in his usual silence.

I guess even though some things change, some things stay the same.

I sat through school all day in anxious anticipation. The thought of going to Jeremy's house filled me with excitement. He must have really trusted me in order to tell me where he lived. When the bell rang, I grabbed my things and ran out of the school building. I hurried home to drop off my things. After that, I set off for Jeremy's house.

Even though I had never been to his house before, I had made deliveries in that area and therefore, knew it pretty well. It wasn't long before I was standing in front of a small two story house that was covered in white siding. There was a small porch on the front of the house. The door was blood red and, oddly enough, the shutters were navy blue. It looked like a giant tribute to the Fourth of July or something.

In my time, I have walked up to strange houses that were inhabited by dangerous drug addicts, with no problems. Walking up to the house of Jeremy Marlais was something completely different.

Each step felt like it took me nowhere. That red door seemed to stay permanently out of reach. Then suddenly, it was right there. The small brass doorbell stared at me ominously, yet dared me to press it. Eventually, I got up enough courage to press the little button. I almost laughed at myself for my foolishness. What did I expect? For the doorbell to make an deep gonging sound and the door to open of its own accord, as lightning flashes illuminate the dark inside of the house? A normal doorbell, a normal door, that's all there was. My nervousness was irrational, nothing was going to happen.

When the door did open, I nearly had a heart attack. I had heard no one come up behind the door to open it (the doorbell was still alright though) and the inside of the house was dark. Whoever had opened the door was lurking behind it and carefully staying out of the sunlight from outside. When I went inside, the door closed behind me and it took my eyes a few moments to adjust to the darkness. It took me a little while to become aware of the person standing two feet from me. They stood there, perfectly still, and watched me as my pupils dilated.

The person took my hand and led me to the kitchen. They gestured for me to have a seat at the table, which I did, and then went over to the refrigerator and opened it. The light from the inside of the refrigerator fell on their face. It was Jeremy (well who else would it be???) except he looked like...a girl. His long brown hair fell around his shoulders, instead of being tied back or stuffed under a hat as usual. He was wearing heavy purple eyeliner, which wasn't unusual seeing as he always wore eye makeup, it just wasn't usually purple. To be honest, he didn't look all that different. He was wearing skinny jeans and a black shirt that was cut to show off a little bit of his more female assets. (A/N At this point, I don't see why I insist on referring to Jeremy as a guy, since it's pretty obvious that he's not. But, to clear things up, I will consider him a "he" when he goes by Jeremy and a "she" when he goes by his real name.) I was stunned. I had never considered what he had to do to hide his breasts.

"If you're wondering how I hide them, I find duct tape works rather well."

"Yeah, I was kind of wondering, actually. I hope you're not offended."

"No, I'm not. It's just one of those things I could understand you wondering about."

We each became lost in our own thoughts, and neither of us said anything for a while. Then suddenly, Jeremy asked me, "Do you want something to eat?" I smiled and said that I would, I really like food. He proceeded to pull a frying pan out from one of the cabinets, put oil in it, and turn on the stove. I looked at him in shock and said, "Well you don't need to get fancy. I would have been happy just eating crackers." Jeremy turned from what he was doing and laughed. "Oh, I'm not doing this for you. I haven't eaten lunch yet and the cafeteria food at my school could kill you. I figured if I was going to make something for myself, I should be polite and offer you some too." As usual his calm logic was infallible. I watched as he peeled and cut up potatoes and began to fry them. When they were done, he took some leftover chicken from the refrigerator and stuck it in the microwave, then served up the potatoes. The microwave beeped and Jeremy took out the chicken and placed it in the middle of the kitchen table and handed me a plate.

"Hey, do you have ketchup?"

"Mmhmm. It's in the fridge."

I got up and went on a quest for ketchup, which was easily found. When I returned to the table, I got a piece of chicken and covered it with ketchup. The look on Jeremy's face bespoke awe at what I was doing. He looked at me funny for a little while before saying, "I thought you were getting it for the potatoes, I've never seen anyone put ketchup on chicken before."

Before I could come up with a reply, the front door opened, and a woman came in. She was middle-aged, with mousy brown hair and was carrying a large tote bag. The woman looked at me, then at Jeremy, and said "Aimi, why don't you introduce me to your friend? I've never met her before...and is she putting ketchup on her chicken?"

"Hello ma'am, I'm Morgan Carley."

At this, I cast a glance at Aimi. Her face gave nothing away, as usual. Her mother just smiled at me and said, "You seem much nicer than her other friends, even if your eating habits are strange. Aimi, I've got the night shift tonight, so you guys are gonna have to keep it down." Aimi just nodded and took a bite of chicken. We sat there in silence as we ate. The chicken was good, but I kept wondering why they found putting ketchup on chicken so weird.

When we finished eating, Aimi led me up to her room. There was a television in one corner with stuffed animals next to it. The walls were purple and she had black curtains. Her bed was huge, well bigger than mine anyways, I think her's was a queen size. In a different corner from the television, there were two skateboards, one had wheels, one didn't. Next to the door, there was one of those big blue storage bins, on top of it were various things of Japanese origin and a few candles. It had the appearance of a makeshift shrine. Right next to it was a cd player and a huge cd went over to case and opened it up. Inside were screamo and metal cds. She had good taste in music. As she flipped through the case, she asked

"Do you listen to Atreyu? I'm kinda feeling in the mood to listen to them."

"Yes I do. They're one of my favorite bands actually."

"Oh good. I like most of their stuff. But not 'The Curse.' I hate that album."

"While I prefer 'Lead Sails and a Paper anchor,' I don't actually find 'The Curse' to be all that bad."

"You did not just say that in my bedroom."

As she said this, she gave me a death glare that would set a plant on fire; I found it rather cute. She put the cd in and pressed play. We listened for a little while. Neither of us knew quite what to say, so I said, "Well I guess this is a chance to meet each other as we really are." Aimi looked at me and replied, "I guess so. Which makes me wonder, why did you say your full name to my mom back there? You could have just used your fake one."

"There are two reasons. The first one being that you invited me to your house and I also know your real name. I want you to trust me, and I don't see how you can do that if you know absolutely nothing about me. Secondly, I don't know your mother very well, and if she wanted to talk to my parents, it would seem kinda suspicious if I gave a fake name and it would be obvious that I did, since my parents don't refer to me as 'Amelia.' I'm a careful person."

"I see that. You are also very crafty and clever. I would not like my odds if you were out to get me; I wouldn't be able to predict what you would do next. You also just said that I know nothing about you. That's not exactly true. While I hate to admit it, I want to tell you that I do, in fact, know where you live. On nights when I'm not busy, I've taken to following you home to make sure you get there safely. To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't noticed."

"I really should pay more attention. I'm quite alert when I'm working, but when I'm done, I just want to go to bed."

"You should. If you don't, I shall bite you."

"So you do bite people."

"Yes. I do."

At this, she jumped at me and somehow ended up straddling me, then proceeded to grab my arm and bite it.

"You really are strange."

"Yes I am. You may bite me back."

She held out her hand, and I could see that she wasn't going to get off of me until I bit it, so I did. It was actually more fun than I originally thought it would be.

"You do know that I don't really want to get off of you, right?"

"Of course, or you wouldn't have done it in the first place. Though you should know that I'm usually the dominant one."

"That works, I enjoy being submissive."

"Are you suggesting something?"

"Yes. But not right now. Mom is home."

I raised an eyebrow at this, Aimi wasn't really as quiet as I originally thought her to be...nor as innocent. I think she could tell what I was thinking, because she followed up with:"I really hope you weren't expecting me to be some sweet, innocent little girl."

"I was, but I shouldn't be surprised. I do know the people you hang out with, after all."

"Good answer."

We heard footsteps on the stairs, and Aimi moved so fast, that I hardly even noticed that she had gotten off of me. Her mom opened the door and poked her head in to say,

"Morgan, you should probably be getting home. Next time, call first and you can stay longer."

She closed the door behind her and went back downstairs.

"When you heard your mom coming, you sure moved fast."

"Of course I did. My parents disowned my brother because he was gay. You should probably go now. I don't want to make her mad."

I got my shoes and said my goodbyes.

This had been the most fun I'd had in while.

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	5. Chapter 5

This sucks. I'm so out of it right now. Before I edited it, there was a part that said "oh but that's Jeremy's piece of ass" and I didn't even remember writing that.

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When I got to work that night, everyone was already there and I took my usual seat next to Jeremy. The whole group was unusually quiet, which I took to be a bad sign. Cai was the only one to even acknowledge me when I came in, and even then it wasn't his usual over the top greeting. Instead he mumbled, "James said he had something to tell all of us. From experience, I can assure you that whatever he has to say, isn't good. He said he'd tell us after he gets back from a meeting at the main warehouse."

Great. More bad news.

It seemed to take forever for James to come back, and when he did, he went to his desk and shuffled papers around for a little bit. It was almost as if he was afraid to give us the news. When he finally came over to our table, he looked at the floor. James wasn't himself, his usual pride was gone. He cleared his throat and didn't look at any of us as he said, "They're giving us Zarry."

There were a few muffled gasps. I didn't react because I was too confused. I didn't even feel shocked until Cai stood up and yelled at James:

"What are you thinking? We can't have him here. We have...females! You need to go back, you need to tell them. How are you going to control him? He's a mon-"

"-I know what he is and what he does. If you think that I gave into this without a fight then you're wrong. Unfortunately, they have the same feelings about him as we do. They're tired of having to keep him on such a tight leash and so they're handing him off to us. When they originally hired him, they didn't expect him to be so much trouble, but they can't just fire him. There's the contract to consider, and no one is willing to do him in; no hit man has enough balls to take the job. If that hit man were to fail, Zarry would have his retributions, and all hell would break loose."

Spenser looked like he had a few things to say to that final comment, but had the sense to hold them in. Cai, on the other hand, was angry beyond measure. He had completely lost his self control and was not ashamed to speak his mind.

"It's not me or Spenser that I'm worried about; it's Arlais, Jeremy, and Amelia. Zarry will make life a living hell for them, and there are so few of us. Me, Spenser, or you can't be here all the time to make sure he doesn't hurt them. If there were more of us here, things might be different, but as it is, there aren't usually more than two of us here at a time. I just don't feel comfortable with leaving any of them with him."

Arlais broke her usual silence to throw in her view on things. "Despite popular belief, I can take care of myself," at this she threw a glance at Cai, "and anyone who can't shouldn't have gotten in the business. Whatever he does to me, can't be worse than what I've already gotten."

"Despite your concerns, Cai, I feel there is little we can do to change things. Besides, Arlais has a point: Every one of you knew what you were getting into when you signed the contract. Personally, I'm not all that worried about Jeremy. Zarry wouldn't dare to lay a finger on my cousin, and if Amelia sticks by him, as it seems she does already, she should be fine as well. I don't want to hear any more about this, Andres' decision is final. I also don't want any hit men suddenly deciding to try their luck against Zarry. (*cough* Spenser *cough*) None of you are allowed to lay a finger on him, even if he did something first. There will be no retribution. I'm saying this now, because I know how protective some of you can get. If I hear about anything, anything at all, you'll answer to me. He's coming tomorrow night. Get used to it."

At the end of James' speech, Cai stood up and looked James in the eyes. An unspoken challenge went between them, and Cai said, "Fine. But I'm not having Amelia pushed into this with no idea as to what's going on. We'll be back later. Come on Em, we're taking a walk."

Cai had never been this forceful with me. He was usually gently reproving, but whoever James had been talking about must have really made him mad. When we left the warehouse, he walked quickly with his head down. He didn't say anything. We walked for about ten minutes. By this time, I was getting pissed off. Why didn't he say anything? I was done. I was tired of being pushed around and considered weak. I was tired of having to wait for someone else to pull their shit together, just so I could get some answers. I jumped in front of Cai and made him stop walking. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him down to my level.

"You said you had something to say to me, well you'd better say it. I'm in no mood to be wandering about the city at night, with no good purpose, just so I can hear a bit of gossip. Right now, I have no idea what's going on. I will not sit in the dark and wait for someone to stick a knife in my ribs. Not this time."

The look in his eyes was well worth seeing. It wasn't fear, but it had a similar name: Respect. For the first time, I wasn't the baby. I was the dominant one. I was in control. Cai stuttered about his words, before managing to say, "You remember Flagg, right?"

"Yeah."

"Remember his fingers, his eye, and all those scars?"

"They're kinda hard to forget."

"Zarry did that."

"That's great, but you didn't answer my question."

"I'm getting there. Can you let me go? This is hurting my back."

I released my hold on his collar and he continued:

"Zarry tortures people for information, he's very good at what he does. He has a special technique on women. I think you already got it, but in case you didn't, it's rape. Zarry was always trouble. If a woman wouldn't willingly go to bed with him, he'd have her anyway. People didn't used to fear him as much as they do now. They thought back then that they'd be protected by the unspoken law that you don't harm someone in your sector. Despite this, very few had the guts to stand up to him. Flagg was one of them that did. Needless to say, Zarry made sure that he wouldn't be able to cause him any trouble. Everyone thought that the administration would have someone kill Zarry for mutilating Flagg so bad. They didn't, they were too scared. Zarry is above the law and impossible to control. That's why they're giving him to us. They want to limit the damage he does. If you think that it'll be any different here, you're wrong. Even Spenser fears him, and James is just like the others. We don't stand a chance."

"Cai, I think I'm gonna be sick."

My breath came in short gasps as I leaned against the wall. I vomited and sank to the ground. My body kept heaving, even after there was nothing left in me to throw up.

When I was sure I could be coherent again, I said to Cai, "How could one human being do that to another? I'm scared. I really am. You were right, I am weak."

"No you're not. I saw you a few minutes ago. You enjoy power, you just don't know how to use it. You could run that warehouse, and no one would question it, if you showed all of them what you just showed me. You don't have to do that for now, but there's going to be a time when you have no choice."

Cai had said all that he wanted to say, and so he just turned back and headed for the warehouse.

On my way to work, I decided that I wasn't going to let Zarry intimidate me. When I arrived at the warehouse, only Arlais and some guy, presumably Zarry, were there. Zarry was about nineteen, by the looks of him. He was pale, with bleach blond hair and blue eyes. His feet were on the table and his chair was leaned back; I hoped the chair legs would slipp and he would crack his head open on the cold cement floor. Zarry didn't look like anything more than a spoiled brat.

I did, however, have to walk past him in order to get to my seat. As I walked quickly by, a hand grabbed my ass. If it had been anyone else, I would have retaliated by kicking the legs out from under the chair, but this was Zarry. I couldn't afford enemies, there was no one who would stick up for me if it came to a fight, but surprisingly, Arlais said,

"Leave her alone."

By eleven, everyone had arrived, but once again, there were no good natured jokes or laughter. Zarry seemed to have taken an unnatural interest in Jeremy, which made the alarm bells in my head go off. He didn't say anything, but I was no fool, he had noticed something, and whatever it was, was probably not good.

When James came to give everyone their assignments, you could practically feel the tension.

"Spenser, you have a hit down in the East End. Here's your sticky note. Arlais, you have two deliveries, and Lucky* wants me to remind you that he wants you down on his side of town at least three times a week. Cai, you're going to tail Arlais tonight, she's going to see Jack and one of the other more dangerous ones. Jeremy and Amelia, you two are going to deliver some black tar heroin to the main warhouse. It's about two million worth, so don't fuck up."

At this point, Cai cut in,

"If they're carrying that much, don't you think they should have protection?"

"They do have protection. Zarry is going with them."

The silence was absolute while everyone waited for Cai to challenge James, but the challenge never came. Eventually, everyone went and picked up their bags and headed out. The duffel bag that I had to carry was much heavier than what I was used to. It would be hard to move quickly if I needed to.

Normally, Jeremy and I would have enjoyed working together, but Zarry hung over us like a giant cloud. We couldn't talk with him around, and we certainly couldn't let our guards down. For some reason, Zarry insisted on walking behind us, and it was certainly rather disconcerting. Everything was fine until he said, "I know what you are Jeremy."

We stopped walking and would have turned around, except he said "Don't turn around, I might just think you two are going to try something. I'd keep walking too. You don't want people to get suspicious while you're carrying two million in drugs."

We started to walk again and Zarry continued,

"It's been a while since I found a decent sex toy and you would do just fine, Jeremy."

"I'm afraid that I'm not interested in other guys."

"Don't play dumb. It's pretty obvious that you're a girl. You can say 'no' but," he bent down and whispered in Jeremy's ear, "you'll be my b!tch soon. I can't wait to hear you screaming my name."

And so went the longest and most terrifying walk of my life.

I had never been to the main warehouse before, only heard stories of the strange way they run things over there. Apparently Jeremy, Spenser, and Cai had worked there before being transferred when the smaller warehouse went into use. From what I could tell, Jeremy didn't like going there much; he didn't even like to talk about the time he spent there. I had the feeling that something had happened, but no one would admit to anything, so in the end, I just let it go, and assumed he would tell me when he was ready.

I wasn't prepared for what I encountered when we opened the door to go inside. The room was pretty loud, and filled with cigarette smoke. Raucous laughter filled the air and more than one hooker was in attendance. There were five tables, and even then, some people were sitting on the floor with their backs to the wall. This was a rougher crowd than what I was used to. They served the inner city, while our warehouse served the suburbs and the less dense areas of the city.

When we walked in, everyone hushed up pretty quick. There were a few snickers, and then a voice called out, "Hey boss, a few of those uptown wimps are here." I heard some giggles, and a freckled guy with brown hair shouted, "Lookie, lookie. It's Jeremy. I wonder if he still earns his money the hard way?" There was some more laughter. I was starting to see why Jeremy didn't like coming here, and I wondered how he managed to put up with this every night. I looked at him to see how he would respond, but surprisingly, no emotion played across his face; he just kept his increasingly pink face aimed at the floor. It was clear that he was trying hard not to let his pride get the better of him. I decided that it would be better if we got out of here fast, because I didn't know how long his noble efforts (or mine) would last.

We dropped our bags off with the guy in charge, and it seemed like everything was going to be alright because we were almost to the door. That was, of course, until a guy walked up to Jeremy and said, "How about a little lick for old times sake?" and started to unzip his pants.

Jeremy completely lost it.

He pulled his knife and held it loosely in his hand as he shouted, "I'm not your whore anymore! If you want to see what I do to cocks these days, come a bit closer and I'll show you."

Jeremy lunged with the knife and I knew that something serious might happen if I didn't do something, so I threw my arm around his waist and held him close to my body. With my other hand, I pushed his wrist in a way that would break it with only seven pounds of pressure. He took the hint and released his grip on the knife so that I could take it away. I practically dragged him toward the door, and Zarry followed us.

When we got outside, Zarry said, "Well this is all well and good, but I'm going to the bar." and promptly wandered off.

I kept a tight grip on Jeremy until we had gone a fair distance, at which time, I turned into a dead end alley and let him go.

In a fit of rage, he threw himself against the brick wall scraped his hands down it. I almost considered grabbing him again so that he couldn't hurt himself, but figured that it would probably only make him even more mad.

Then he turned on me and shouted, "You dumb b!tch! You humiliated me! I'll never be able to live this down." and hit me across the face, hard. I felt something crack in my nose, and blood spurted out as I doubled over in pain. Jeremy just stood over me, staring and breathing heavily. I must have given him a kicked puppy look, because the look on his face softened, and he muttered quietly,

"I'm really sorry, Amelia."

I stood up straight and blood ran down my face. I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket, and held it to my nose as I cracked it back in place. I then proceeded to wipe my face and hold the cloth to my nose until the bleeding stopped. During this process, Jeremy had begun to shake and tears ran down his face freely.

He had hurt me, and yet, he was still the best friend I had, so I went over to him, and held him close to me. Through his tears, he managed to say,

"I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't. I thought you would be angry with me for hitting you, but you're so nice. I love you."

We stood there for the longest time. Jeremy, with his hands covering his face, and me, with my arms wrapped around his small and shaking body. We stood there, not as lovers, but as friends, and in the end, I think that made all the difference in the world.

Working with Zarry was pure torture. His cocky attitude and constant passes at Jeremy were beginning to wear on my nerves. He didn't try anything, but I could feel in my gut that he was just waiting for the right chance.

On Tuesday when I arrived at the warehouse, everything was the same as usual; Arlais was at her other job and couldn't work, and James was at another of his dreadful meetings, and would not arrive for another hour at least. Around eleven, Cai and Spenser decided to go out for a smoke, leaving me, Jeremy, and Zarry alone. I guess I had let my guard down, because I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Zarry launched himself across the table,grabbed Jeremy, and pinned him to the floor. One of his huge hands grabbed both of Jeremy's wrists and the other began to unbuckle his belt. Jeremy screamed and cried out for me to help him, but I was too terrified to do anything. Instead, I turned and ran for the door; I couldn't do anything myself, but Spenser could help, but when I got outside, he and Cai had decided to take a walk, and I saw them turning a corner up ahead.

I ran faster than I ever had before, all the while, screaming Spenser's name over and over. They heard me snd came running. By the time I reached them, I was out of breath, but somehow managed to gasp, "Zarry got Jeremy." over and over. Spenser seemed to know what I meant, because he took off for the warehouse as fast as he could, with me and Cai tailing a bit behind.

When I got to the doorway of the warehouse, I saw Jeremy with his pants undone. Zarry had already taken himself out and was getting ready to pleasure himself with my best friend, when Spenser gracefully raised his bat, and swung. At the time, I realized that it must be a beautifully dangerous thing, to be watch as Spenser smashes your head into the ground.

But he hardly hit Zarry. He would have a nice bruise on his back, but nothing was broken. Zarry took the hint though, he practically flew off of Jeremy. After he was certain that Zarry would leave Jeremy alone, he grabbed me roughly by the collar and dragged me outside. I could tell that he was pissed, whether at me or Zarry, I couldn't tell.

"You're such a coward, Amelia." he said, "You should have been able to deal with this yourself. The next time something like this happens, I'm not going to help you out. If someone tries to hurt someone that you care about, you don't involve others, you keep it private. Understand?"

I had nothing to say, so I just nodded. He let me go and went back inside, but when I went to follow, Cai came out of the door and said simply, "Let's take a walk."

We didn't get very far before Cai said,

"I heard what happened at the main warehouse the other night. You don't know about Jeremy, do you? You don't know what he's been through. When he first started working, everyone saw him as weak. Naturally, people took advantage of this. A bunch of guys decided that he would do good oral, and they gave him two options: give oral, or we'll make your life a living hell. He chose what was easiest. They paid him, of course, but they did it mostly as a joke. It was humiliating and demeaning for him. That's why he doesn't like to go to the main warehouse."

"Why did you tell me this?"

"To make you mad."

"Well I am. You were right, the time would come for me to have to be tough. Zarry is a sick bastard that deserves to get ripped. I'll make him pay. I swear I will. I'm not going to let him do this to anyone else."

"Don't pretend to be noble. I know you want to hurt him and mess him up for your own vindictive and petty reasons, you just happen to be doing the world a favor in the process."

"Doesn't he go and drink around two in the morning?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Which bar does he go to?"

"Silverstream I think. He usually picks up some girl there too."

"Even better."

"My god Amelia! What are you getting at?"

I smiled. I already had my plan thought out. Everything would work out well.

"You'll see, my curious friend."

I did not enact my plan at the first chance I got. As Zarry had demonstrated, planning is crucial to any act of malice. For a week or so, I made phone calls, researched Zarry, went to the bar, and collected my weapons. These dangerous utensils included a handsaw, a sewing kit, chloroform, and a meat cleaver, along with the regular arsenal I kept on my person at all times.

Finally, I was ready.

I got ready two hours early. I was thankful that my parents had decided to go see a movie, or else there was no way I could have left my house at eight. I dressed carefully, finding my shortest skirt, lowest cut top, and highest heels. When I was certain that my outfit was suitably slutty, I went to the bathroom and put on tons of makeup, complete with bright red lipstick. Then I put on a long blond wig. The downside to dressing this way, was that I might be mistaken for a prostitute, but this was the only way my plan would work. I would be able to change into some spare clothes that I had packed into a duffel bag with my weapons, after I was done.

By disguising myself on previous occasions, I had been able to go to the bar called Silverstream and watch Zarry. I found out that not only did he go there around two in the morning after work, he also went there before work, around eight. With an evil grin on my face, I left the house.

When I got to the bar, Zarry was there. On my way in, he caught my eye and gestured for me to come over and join him. He didn't recognize me. He bought me a drink, and we talked for a while before I pulled his ugly face close to mine, and made it perfectly clear what I wanted to do that evening. He responded even better than I had expected, and put his arm around my waist to walk me to the door.

"So where are we headed?" he asked

"There's an abandoned warehouse that I've used before. It's cheaper than those by-the-hour motels."

It was an innocent enough statement for the situation that I was in, but I hadn't picked just any abandoned warehouse. This one was special: It was the warehouse that Zarry used to torture his victims. This was risky on my part, it might give the game away, but I was hoping that his lust would overpower his sense of reason.

We arrived at the warehouse. The windows were broken in, and the cracked concrete floor was overgrown with weeds. As I surveyed the area, I noticed a fatal flaw in my plan; the chair and video camera I had put in the warehouse were visible from the door. I had not thought to check.

Zarry caught on fast. He turned on me and pulled out his knife. I was ready, and as he lunged, I brought my foot up in between his legs. He hit the floor, writhing in pain.

Before he had a chance to recover, I brought the handle of my knife down on the back of his neck. Jeremy had said that doing this would paralyze a victim for about thirty seconds. I didn't trust this estimate, so I worked fast.

I tied his feet together, and then rolled him over to handcuff his hands. By the time I was almost done, he had already started to recover and struggle, but I had the advantage. I would have hit him on the head to knock him out, but I didn't want to risk killing him before I got to have my fun. While he was lying on his stomach, I grabbed his hair and forced his head back, so that I could cover his nose and mouth with the chloroform soaked rag that I had concealed in my bra. When I was certain that he was unconscious, I grabbed his ankles and dragged him across the floor towards the chair. It took a pretty long time to get him into it. When I finally managed to, he was already coming around, and I had to hurry in tying him to the chair, so that the couldn't escape.

By now, most of my plan had gone out the window. My original idea was to seduce him, tie him up in a sexual way, and have him not question the oddness of a chair and camera in an abandoned warehouse. This plan had been idealistic, and I probably should have known that it wouldn't work, but so far, nothing had gone horribly wrong.

I cut the clothes off of his body, leaving him exposed, and my fun began. I turned on the warehouse lights and pressed 'record' on the video camera.

First, I took a needle and thread from my sewing kit, and sewed his lips shut. He showed a certain resistance to this by thrashing and shaking his head back and forth, but in the end, I just hit him on the back of the neck again and quickly sewed them shut.

I began to pull out his toenails. His screams were like music to my ears, and I couldn't help but smile. As I pulled them out one by one, I said to him softly,

"Zarry, do you know why I'm doing this to you?"

He shook his head.

"I guess this just isn't working. But don't worry, I have something that will help you remember even better."

At this, I took out the meat cleaver, and began hacking off toes.

"Do you know now?"

He shook his head again.

"A pity. I'd say that I don't like doing this, but that would be a lie. I'm enjoying this very much."

Out came the sewing kit again.

I'd like to say that I left his tender areas alone, after all, it does seem kind of cheap to say that I tortured him with such methods, but he was a rapist, so it was okay.

I took pins and needles, and began pushing them one by one into his penis. His muffled screams made my pulse race and my breath come in short gasps. It was hard to mask my excitement.

"It seems that I'm all out of pins. Do you remember what you did?"

Once again, he shook his head.

"It's your loss. Literally."

Handsaw time.

I had almost hoped that I wouldn't have to use this method, just because of how messy it was. I took the handsaw and positioned it over his testicles, I then began to saw.

Metal teeth bit into soft flesh and his screams were louder and more panicked than before. Finally I said,

"Do you want me stop? The doctors might be able to fix this, but if I keep going, I'm not too sure that they could. I'll even let you live."

He nodded.

"Do you know what you did?"

He nodded again.

"If that's so, then apologize to Jeremy. Open your mouth and say it."

He looked undecided for a moment, but I made up his for him, when I picked up the saw and got it into position. His mouth stretched and blood appeared where the stitches were. He kept opening his mouth, and the stitches ripped free; blood splattered everywhere, and some even hit my face.

As blood filled his mouth and ran down his chin, he managed to gasp, "I'm sorry Jeremy."

"Say it louder, bastard."

"I'm sorry Jeremy."

"Good."

At that moment, I had the sudden desire to sign my work, and so I pulled out my switchblade, and carved the semblance of a cobra wrapped around a rose on his cheek. A bit sloppy, but you could tell what it was.

As I walked over to the camera to press 'stop' and it was at this time, that Flagg decided to make his appearance, and so he walked out of the shadows of the warehouse. I collected my camera and tools, and began to walk out of the warehouse, behind me Zarry yelled, "But you said you wouldn't kill me. You promised." as Flagg closed in on him.

"I did. But he didn't."

I walked out of that warehouse with a grin on my face, as the screams began again.

lilililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililililil

u noe what to do!!!! :P


	6. Chapter 6

hey 6th chapter!! I'm so sorry for this. if you like to listen to music while reading the best songs to listen to in order is

fake it-seether

fade away-seether

tears dont fall-bullet for my valentine

tounge-seether lyircs:

Well the tongue inside my mouth is not for sale

Any spirit left in me is fading fast

Could you throw another stone to ease my pain?

Could you throw another stone to seal my fate?

'Cause I didn't believe in this world anymore, anymore

I don't believe in me

And if I can rise above this I'll be saved

Can anybody save me?

And if I can die for love, then I'm enslaved

Can anybody save me?

Second chances are too few and far between

Will to change this circumstance eludes me still

Should I grow another shell in which to live?

Should I grow another shell and not forgive?

I don't believe in this world anymore, anymore

I don't believe in me

And if I can rise above this I'll be saved

Can anybody save me?

And if I can die for love, then I'm enslaved

Can anybody save me?

Goodbye cruel world

Goodbye cruel world

Goodbye cruel world

Goodbye cruel world at last you see me drown

And if I can rise above this I'll be saved

Can anybody save me?

And if I can die for love, then I'm enslaved

Can anybody save me?

And if I can rise above this I'll be saved

Can anybody save me?

And if I can die for love, then I'm enslaved

Can anybody save me?

Goodbye cruel world

Goodbye cruel world

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

On my way to work, I took a turn into a dark alley and changed my clothes, but I had no choice but to leave the makeup on, since I had no way to take it off without smearing it everywhere. I just hoped that no one would notice.

Unfortunately, this detour made me even later for work; I was already almost an hour late. When I arrived at the warehouse, I entered to see Jeremy pacing about worriedly, Spenser attempting to calm him down, Cai talking rapidly on his phone, James running his fingers through his hair anxiously, and Arlais was reading a book. As soon as I came through the door, I was mauled by Jeremy, who hugged me and yelled at me at the same time.

His jubilation was short lived, however, because James came over and demanded to know where I had been. My answer was already prepared, and I did my best to look confused and slightly worried.

"My parents didn't go to bed until late and I couldn't sneak out."

"Oh. We were worried because Zarry is missing, and you were missing...and we thought...well, we assumed the worst."

"What do you mean? He's probably just at the bar. He practically lives there."

"That's what we thought, but when I called down there, they said he left there two hours ago, with a blonde that no one had seen before."

I was silent at this. There was really no response to this that wouldn't sound suspicious anyways. Seeing that the conversation had ended, I went and took my seat, then I noticed that no one was out working. I whispered to Jeremy,

"Why is everyone in?" and hoped that James didn't notice.

"James isn't letting any of us leave until Zarry is found. He's afraid that it was a rival sector that's trying to intimidate us by showing that they can take on Zarry."

I looked across the table at Spenser, and saw him grinning from ear to ear. From this behavior, I'm assuming that he had guessed long ago why both Zarry and I were missing, and also why I was the only one to return. I don't think Cai had figured it out yet, but he wasn't stupid, and would put two and two together eventually. While I was trying to think up a way to keep both of them quiet, James' cell phone rang.

He answered it, said

"Okay,"a few times and hung up.

He sounded almost panicked when he said, "They found Zarry. We need to go now, before things get out of hand. I really hope our rivals don't get any ideas."

He grabbed his gun out of the desk drawer, and practically ran for the door. The rest of us, seeing that we had no choice, hurried after him. We followed James down the dark streets. If Flagg had followed my directions, any minute we would come across the body.

We did.

Flagg was an artist when it came to displaying a body, he would make a wonderful undertaker. He had hung it upside down from a buiding, about four feet off the ground. The thing was cut up and missing all of its fingers, but the face had been left alone, with the exception of my mark, which Flagg had known to leave alone, even though I hadn't told him to. On top of all that, the throat had been cut, and all the blood drained while it was hanging upside down. This was done in almost the same way that an animal destined for someone's dinner would be killed. On the brick wall behind the body, the words, "He was slaughtered like the pig he is." were written in blood. Flagg had done even better than I had originally expected.

This gruesome sight actually relieved James because he was no longer worried that Zarry had been killed by a rival sector, for the scene showed it for what it was: a killing done by an enemy.

I thought everything was going fine until Spenser clapped me on the back and said, "Em did pretty well for herself this time. Didn't think she'd have the guts, but my god she's done well for herself." James rounded on me and began to rant, "You did this? This is a joke. Spenser tell me this is a very sick joke. She can't have...she's a coward, we all know it. But if this is true, I'm wondering if maybe we should have offered that job to her instead of Jeremy."

Now I was the confused one. "What job?" I asked.

Jeremy must have thought I was angry, because he quickly tried to explain, "Amelia, I swear I was going to tell you, honestly. I mean, I hardly found out myself. I guess I'm babbling, but I really don't know how you're going to react. I-they offered me the job of hitman."

"Th-that's great. I know how much you respect Spenser, and I think you would do well." I was shocked. I didn't mind Spenser being a professional killer, but Jeremy was my best friend and lover. I had done my best to be courteous, but my words didn't come out the way I had meant for them to sound. Maybe, in my attempt at politeness, I sounded cold and unfeeling, in fact, I'm positive I did, because Jeremy immediately looked hurt. He took a step back and looked at the ground as he quietly said "oh," and ran off.

I watched him jog down the sidewalk and turn a corner. It hurt to watch him turn his back on me, but after a moment, I realized that I had done the same thing to him. He hadn't wanted to tell me because he knew that I would see him as a monster.

While this scene had been going on, Cai and Arlais had already climbed up the fire escape of the building that Zarry was hung from, and begun to cut him down. As I thought of a way to make myself useful, I felt a twinge of regret in letting Jeremy go. I was still debating whether or not to go after him, when Spenser said "Go. I'll cover for you."

That was the only prompting I needed. I took off in a sprint in the direction that Jeremy had gone. He couldn't have gone that far. As I rounded the corner, I saw him ahead of me. He had only run as far as the corner, then he had slowed to a walk.

"Jeremy."

He didn't turn around, he just kept walking.

"Jeremy...please."

There was no response, only the sound of his footsteps on the cold concrete. It was cold, cold the way I had been. It felt no pain, no sorry, no joy; it only had it's purpose, but I guess, in that way too, it and I were alike.

Maybe I didn't want to be that way anymore.

"I still love you. Nothing has changed, but I just don't know how to respond."

He still didn't say anything, but he had stopped walking now.

"I know that I have done something unforgivable, but I realize now, that to make you deny that side of you would only be hypocritical. You've seen the things that I did tonight."

"You were the one that killed him then."

"I am responsible for his death."

Finally, he turned.

I had always kept myself relatively contained with him because of his past experiences, but this time I could no longer hold myself in. I ran up to him, hugged him tight, and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't for him to pull me even closer to him, and run his fingers through my hair. It wasn't for him to kiss me back and then put his lips on my neck. He was soft in my arms, and so fragile, but I knew that I wasn't hurting him. He trusted me.

When our embrace had reached it's end, (and we could go no further due to the fact that we were in public) he took my hand and began to walk down the street.

"I'm sorry about that, I know how you don't really like physical affection."

"You didn't do that for a thrill. You did that because you actually cared. You're the first person that gave a damn about me, and I almost walked away."

"Jeremy, you had every right to. I practically slapped you in the face back there."

"But you valued me over your pride, which is something I'm grateful for."

We were silent for a bit, the way we usually were, but the topic of his new employment kept nagging at the back of my mind. When I could bear it no longer, I finally said,

"Do you plan on taking the job?"

"I don't really know. I want to, but if you don't like it, then I'll refuse."

"Why do you find it so appealing?"

"I've killed before, and when I do, I feel so heartless that it's like nothing will ever be able to hurt me again. I want that feeling. I know it's wrong, but I hurt so much. I want to be able to shut all of that out."

"That's not unreasonable. But I want you to think about something: The penalty is death. For what we do now, we can only be locked up till we're eighteen because we're still minors, but if you kill someone, or in this case, many someones, they'll fry you. It won't matter if you're a minor or not. You'll be tried as an adult and sentenced to death. I'll support you no matter what you choose, but I want you to know that watching your trial, and watching you being sentenced to death would kill me. If you die, I'm going to hell with you."

"That's a very foolish thing to say."

"I don't think you understand. I'm a heroin addict. I've got no hope for the future. This stuff will rot my brain, and I'd much rather be dead than a vegetable."

"Then I guess we'll both be dead, 'cuz there's no way out. Whichever way you turn, the penalty will always be death."

Despite my warnings, Jeremy accepted the new job. He still made deliveries, but we had less time together at work, and so we hung out after school more often to make up for it. I'm slightly ashamed to admit it, but our relationship became much more physical after that night. The emotion was still there, it wasn't meaningless. It was as if we were making up for lost time. But I felt a strange guilt for being with Jeremy. I had never told him how I felt about love.

I didn't believe in it.

I believed in the the love of friendship and the love of family, but I didn't believe in relationship love. That kind of love was really only lust. Jeremy and I were best friends with lust mixed in. Maybe that is the love that inspires the best in us, but to me, it was just the love of frienship, with a hint of desire. If it was possible, I would have stayed with Jeremy forever, but that would have been the fruition of the impossible. Eventually one of us would find someone else, or move on, or die. I knew this fact, but could not accept it.

To avoid talk of the inevitable, we instead talked about the kind of things teenage girls talk about, or if we were feeling hopeful, we spoke of moving to canada and escaping our ghosts. We talked about leaving the business and running away together, but we both knew that if we did that we would have to spend the rest of our lives in hiding, and would most likely be hunted down and killed.

We watched movies together and baked brownies. Sometimes we would take the night off and Jeremy would spend the night at my house. My parents loved him, but they only knew him as Aimi, they didn't know bith sides of him. It always seemed to rain when we did this, so we would go out and walk in it. At night, we would fall asleep in each other's arms. I never had to fear sleep when he was with me, he chased the nightmares away. In the morning, I would cook breakfast. Usually bacon and eggs. I remember laughing when Jeremy told me that he had never had an over-easy egg before. I made him one, but he didn't like it, so I ate it. Whenever one of my parents drove him home after one of these events, neither of us spoke on the car ride to his house. Parting hurt because we never knew what might happen.

Despite all this, things weren't all that easy or happy. Jeremy was bipolar and had horrid mood swings. I tryed to be patient with him at such times, but he could be downright hateful. We both had drug problems, so when one of us hadn't shot up for a while, the other one was stuck dealing with a very unpleasant human being. I also became aware that Jeremy drank a lot. He was mean and slutty when he was drunk, and many times he said horrible things to me, but he never laid a hand on me.

Some other things began to surface as well. I found out that Jeremy had been having sex with random people even while we were dating. It hurt me, but I knew he was only trying to feel some emotion.

Despite all of this, he helped me in ways that no one else could. He tried to persuade me to quit heroin cold turkey. I couldn't, so I lied and said I was clean even when I wasn't. He knew that I was lying, but never said anything because he knew that I was lying for him. I would have gone on in that way, had it not been for a cold and rainy night in February, the twenty-eigth, to be exact.

Nighttime has always been my demon. I love the darkness, but as soon as the sun sets, I feel like things are crashing down on me. During the day, I never lusted for the drug as much as I did at night. Some nights were unpleasant, some were hell, there was no way to tell ahead of time, they just were what they were.

One night at work, I was getting increasingly paranoid and nasty to be around. The walls of the warehouse were looming in on me, and the light from the flourescents was making me nervous. Everyone was getting a bit frustrated with my moodiness, and so Cai offered to make up a syringe of heroin for me. Naturally, I accepted. Jeremy protested, but it was obvious that he was irritated with me, and if the drug would calm me down, then he would gladly let Cai stick a needle in my arm. James, who usually frowned upon his workers getting high at work (ironically) merely said, "If she can't work, then you have to take her run, Cai."

Unfortunately, the drugs did very little to calm me down, so I reached into my pocket and took out the bottle of painkillers that I always kept there. I popped three, maybe four, and put the bottle away. Shortly after I did so, I realized that it may not have been the best idea. When even these did nothing to calm my nerves, I took two more.

It was, by far, the stupidest thing I've ever done.

I didn't realize anything was wrong until I felt that it was impossible to keep my eyes open. My hands weren't really working, they just felt numb. Jeremy was the first to notice. He shook me, and when that proved fruitless, he slapped me and said, "Come on. You need to stay conscious. We're going outside. The rain will help clear your head." Then he grabbed me by the waist and leaned me against his hip as he half walked, half carried me outside.

The rain did prove beneficial, and I leaned against the wall of the warehouse and lifted my face toward the heavens. Jeremy's idea had been a good one, but he had forgotten that not only was it raining, it was also only thirty-five degrees out. I quickly became extremely cold, but eventually even the cold gave way to numbness. Time passed, I'm not sure how much, but I slowly became aware of the fact that Jeremy was crying.

I tried to ask him why, but my lips wouldn't work. It was then then that I understood, my clouded mind had finally processed what was going on.

I was dying.

It didn't take a genius to understand that I was overdosing. My body was shutting down, and there was no way for me to stop it. Jeremy knew that he was about to witness the death of one of his friends, and he could only stand there uselessly. Somehow, I managed to spit out the words, "Go inside." I didn't want him to be here when I either choked on my own vomit or collapsed.

"No."

"Please. I don't want you here when it's time."

"I'm not leaving."

I found myself unable to speak again, which I took to be a bad sign. I became unaware of everything but the touch of the rain against my skin. The whole world was black and silent. I was at peace. There was no pain, no fear, just the rain caressing me.

Until Jeremy shattered it.

He had grabbed me and a tight embrace and put his head against my cheek. He managed to say through his tears, "Don't leave me. Oh god, please don't leave me."

"Why?" It was a stupid question, but it was the only thing that I was capable of saying.

"I care about you very much. Promise me that you'll fight, that you won't die."

"I can't promise that."

"Please. I'm begging you. Please."

I was silent for a bit, but eventually the words came.

"I promise."

"Thank you."

"And I'm sorry."

I held him against me, and in my heart, I knew I had just made a promise that I couldn't keep, so I just kept saying,

"I'm sorry." over and over again.

I was sorry for taking too much.

I was sorry for hurting Jeremy.

I was sorry for making a promise I couldn't keep.

I was sorry for lying.

I was sorry for not saying what I knew I should have said.

But most of all, I was sorry for dying.

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dont kill me T-T review im going to try to poast the next chapter verry soon


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for freaking you guys out, I couldn't resist. I feel so evil. but......Here's the final chapter. If you read this, I want you to comment below and say what you liked about the story, what you didn't like, and any ideas you might have for me to use in the future.

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But I didn't die, Jeremy saw to that. Every time I was about to drift away, he would bring me back to the present. We stood there, locked in an embrace for hours, while the rain pounded down from the sky. At one point Spenser and Cai came out to see how I was doing, but Jeremy didn't talk to them or answer any of their questions, so after a while they both went back inside, holding hands.

The night of February the twenty-eighth was both the longest and the shortest night of my life. By the time the nightmare was over, the sun was beginning to rise over the tops of the buildings. Normally this would have made me panic, but I was just glad to be alive. I could still barely walk, and I was vomiting all over the place, so Jeremy walked me home, even though he knew that it might get him in trouble. Luckily for me, it was a weekend and my parents wouldn't be up for several hours.

When I got home, the first thing I did was take a boiling hot shower. I then spent the rest of the day throwing up in the bathroom. Yes, it was hell, but I was alive and I had kept my promise to Jeremy, even thought he had done most of the work. But after a while, darker thoughts hit me.

I had gotten lucky this time, but what about the next time that something like this happens? Jeremy might not be there to save my sorry ass. What bothered me even more was the fact that if I did die, I would have lied right to Jeremy's face, and my pride would not allow that. I knew what I had to do: I had to quit.

If I had done that in the first place, none of this would have happened, but I don't think I would have even tried to quit if I hadn't overdosed. It was a paradox, to be sure, but in the end, it was well worth the trouble of thinking out, because at least I felt like I was accomplishing something while throwing up endlessly.

By noon the nausea had subsided enough for me to eat. I still felt ill and exhausted, but I was really hungry, and nothing could keep me from food at that point. My parents were worried, but after I assured them that I had just eaten some leftovers for breakfast that had apparently started to go bad, they stopped fussing over me and went to clean out the refrigerator to prevent any further mishaps.

Around two, I texted Jeremy to assure him that I was okay (he had sent several frantic messages around eight in the morning, but I didn't respond to them because looking at the screen of my phone made me feel even more ill) I also asked if he could tell James that I was taking the night off. This being done, I laid down in bed, and fell asleep.

***

A few more months went by, and before I knew it, it was already May. I don't remember much that occurred during the time from February until May, I'm certain that nothing of much importance happened. One of the things that did stick with me was the fact that I finally got to meet Jack Frell (and I never intended to do so again). The experience was altogether quite unpleasant, and he really did creep me out. The whole time I was there, he continually tried to feel me up, which, he usually only does to

Jeremy, or so I've heard. Jeremy is the only one who would willingly make deliveries to Jack, but Spenser always made sure that he didn't go alone.

Over those few months, I also managed to get off the drugs. It was hard, but Jeremy never complained when I was horribly bad-tempered. He also must have warned the others, because their complaints were few and far between. At night when I went to work, I was proud of who I had become.

When I got to work on the seventh of May, Jeremy met me outside the warehouse with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey Amelia, I've got a surprise for you."

"I'll bite. What's this surprise?"

"I'm clean. I haven't had a drink or shot up in two weeks."

I was completely stunned. I was so happy. I think he finally realized how much his lifestyle had made me worry about him.

"That's great. We can celebrate tonight after work." I gave him a friendly hug.

We went inside and took our usual seats. Around ten, Jeremy and Spenser left to make a delivery to Jack. I was slightly worried, but Jack was nothing but an old pervert, so I quickly banished these thoughts from my head. He may be unpleasant to deal with, but he really wasn't all that dangerous as far as drug addicts go.

At ten-thirty Cai got a call on his cell phone. It was obvious that this call wasn't a good one. After saying "okay" a few times he hung up, jumped out of his seat, and ran for the door. I shouted after him, "Cai, what's going on?"

He didn't answer the question, he only shouted after him,

"Stay here Amelia."

I waited anxiously for about half an hour before Cai and Spenser returned. Spenser was carrying something that had been hastily wrapped in a blanket. By now, I knew that something was horribly wrong.

"Where's Jeremy?" I asked quietly.

Cai glanced sideways at Spenser and made an attempt to appease me. "Amelia, you might want to-"

"-Where the fuck is Jeremy?" I screamed it this time.

Spenser walked over to the table and put down the bundle.

Cai looked at Spenser helplessly before saying,

"Jeremy got shot."

"Well is he okay? Is he at the hospital? Where is he?"

"He's dead, Amelia."

I began to shake and had to grip the table for support. It suddenly struck me what the bundle that Spenser had carried in probably was.

"I-is that-"

"Yes."

I reached for the bundle with a shaking hand and pulled the blanket back, underneath was the face that I had come to know and love. I pulled the blanket back even further, and saw the cause of death: two gunshot wounds to the chest.

Jeremy's shirt and hands were covered in blood. Some more blood had dried on his lips; he must have been coughing it up because of internal bleeding. I ran my fingers on the cold lifeless face, pausing a moment when they reached the lips. I had kissed those lips and felt their warmth. I had reveled in the sweet embrace that comforted and strengthened. But all of that had turned to ash, and left a bitter taste in my mouth. There was nothing left, only a cold and lonely emptiness that was filled with silence.

I could have stood there forever, looking at that beautiful face, but sorrow quickly turned to anger when I remembered that Spenser's job had been to protect him.

"You were supposed to keep him safe. He'd still be alive had you been on top of things!" I said accusingly

Spenser didn't meet my eyes. He just looked at the floor.

His lack of response enraged me even further, so I threw myself at him and began to try to punch him, but he grabbed my wrists and held them tight. I thrashed and tried to break free, but without much success. I then did the only thing I could do; I sunk my teeth into his right hand. He didn't even flinch. I tasted blood in my mouth, but I didn't let go. After a while of this, he finally looked me in the eye and said, "I didn't mean for this to happen. As soon as I heard the scuffle, I went into the alley, but even then it was too late. I got there in time to see Jack pull a gun. I shouted at Jeremy to get down, but before he had much of a chance to move, Jack had already fired the gun. He didn't even aim. He just fired six shots from a revolver in Jeremy's general direction and then ran. I could've gone after him, but I stopped when Jeremy said, 'There's two bullets in my chest, Spenser,' and slid down the wall. He was bleeding all over the place and was starting to cough up blood. Then he looked up at me with those huge eyes, and he looked so innocent, that I felt a tear run down my cheek. He smiled when he saw it and said, 'I hope you've not gone soft.' But then his smile faded, and I knew he must have been thinking of you, because then he started crying and said, 'Don't let her die for me. Promise to keep her safe, even if you have to save her from herself.' He had already lived far longer than I would have expected for someone with a pierced lung, but he was stubborn, just like always. He wouldn't go until I promised, and how could I refuse a dying friend? After a bit, he just kinda faded, and even though his eyes were still open, there was nothing in them. I couldn't just leave him there. I couldn't leave him in that alley like a piece of trash, so I called Cai and while I waited for him to arrive, I tried cleaning Jeremy up a bit. I got the worst of the blood off of his face and closed his eyes. There was an old blanket in my car, and so when Cai arrived, I went to go get it, and then we bundled him up and carried him back here."

\

During the course of his tale, I had released his hand and stopped thrashing about madly.

"You mean you let him live?"

"It was either kill him, or have Jeremy die alone. Besides, this is your fight."

At this point, James cut in. "She's not going to be getting revenge on anybody. Jack is a customer. If he gets killed, it means we make less money. If we don't make enough money, then this warehouse is going to be merged with the main one. Remember what all of you were like before you started working for me? You were nobodies.

Everyone picked on you and pushed you around. Be thankful for what you have in me. Not every boss would let you take and take and take the way I do. You never give me anything in return, so just this once, shut the fuck up and do what you're told. I know all of you have work to do."

The rage that had been cooled by what Spenser had to say was reignited as soon as James opened his mouth.

"It's not bad enough that you exploited Jeremy while he was alive. Oh no. Your cousin just died and all you can think about is money. Well I'm done. When I die, I'm going to make a statement you can't ignore. I'll make you see. I'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!"

Then I turned on my heel and walked out of the warehouse. When I got home, I fell into bed and let the grief overwhelm me. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was the light from my digital clock glancing off the tears that dampened my eyelashes.

***

The next morning, I had made up my mind about what I was going to do. It was a Saturday, so I had the whole day to do as I pleased. I left the house around nine in the morning. It was cool and a slight rain was falling from a windswept sky. The diffused light gave my skin a soft glow, as if I were a god of judgement sent down from the heavens. As I walked through the gray and grimy streets, I let the urban beauty wash over me. The graffiti that covered most buildings, both old and new, was like Da Vinci's art to me. It had shape and form, and it portrayed a message, while still remaining mysterious and shrouded. I saw meaning in everything. Even things that had held no meaning for me before. Every lamp post leaned a certain way for a reason. There was a story behind it all, a story that would never be heard, and never told.

I saw the world as Jeremy had. For the first time in my life, I had no regrets, no worries, no cares. It would have been nice to have seen the world like this before, but all that mattered was the fact that I did now. The only thoughts that crossed my mind were those of the present. I didn't dwell on the past or wish for what might be. I was finally at peace.

On the long walk to my destination, I only worried once, and that happened as I passed a dumpster. I felt like someone was watching me, but I didn't turn around, because even my own mortality didn't frighten me now. I had nothing left to live for, and everything to die for. So when I reached the police station, I didn't feel fear as I walked up the cement steps. I didn't feel the anxiety that one normally feels while walking to a certain fate.

I waited in the lobby of the police station, before being escorted to an interrogation room. They told me that I could leave at any time, and that the only reason I was being put in the room was for privacy as I told all that needed to be said.

And that is the point where our story began...

***

Mrs. Kelly looked up from the stack of notes she had taken. Not like she needed them. She had recorded the entire interview with Amelia on an audio recorder. After pulling a few papers together, she asked,

"That's it?"

"That just about sums it up."

"You have given us quite a bit of valuable information today. Under normal circumstances we would probably charge you with murder and drug trafficking, but seeing as you came here of your own free will, and on top of that, gave very good information, including the names of several people involved with the drug trade and the address of their headquarters, I highly doubt that anyone here would protest you being allowed to leave," in an undertone she added, "Not to mention that I'm fairly certain you have unfinished business to settle."

"You're very thorough. What time is it?"

"Six. You may leave whenever you wish."

Amelia stood up and pushed in her chair, "Goodbye then. I am very anxious to leave, as it is, it may already be too late."

Amelia walked smoothly out of the gray room and continued on down the corridor towards the lobby. She swept through the lobby, with its horrible red chairs and beige tile, and on out the tinted, and undoubtedly, bullet resistant glass. She continued walking in this manner until she reached her next destination. As, she walked on, her thoughts fell to the story she had just recited and was proud that she had told every detail perfectly.

Well almost.

There was one part that she didn't know. One crucial piece of information that might change the outcome of events. What she didn;'t know, was that last night at the warehouse, shortly after she left, James ordered Cai to kill her. Whether she went to the police or not, he wanted her dead because her threat had shaken him severely, and James had no doubt that she had meant every word of the threat. He had already seen what Amelia could do when provoked, and he had no intention of becoming her next victim.

What James didn't know, was the fact that his assasin had failed and Amelia had managed to get to the police. He also didn't know that after Amelia left the police station, she was headed back to the warehouse one last time. If he had known this rather major detail, he would never have sent Spenser out to check on Cai, and left himself with just Arlais for protection. But he didn't know, and so the cards were still dealt in Amelia's favor.

When she arrived at the warehouse, she came in and immediately walked over to James' desk, ignoring Arlais altogether. She pulled her knife and held him at knife point.

A shaft of light that came from one of the narrow windows, hit the knife and held it in a fist of pure, blinding light.

James was so shocked by her sudden appearance, that at first he could do nothing but look on in awe. When he had recovered his wits, he said to Arlais, "Quick! While her back is turned. Stick a knife in the monster's ribs."

"Who's ribs? The only monster I see here is you."

With a flash of that cold steel, James' blood poured from his throat and out onto the desk. He gurgled a few times, and then was still.

"You should leave now Arlais. The police are coming and I know you don't want to be found."

Without another word, Amelia left the warehouse.

***

When Spenser found Cai, he was sitting with his bact against the brick wall that was next to a dumpster. He had his crowbar in his hands.

"Did you manage to kill her?"

"I couldn't do it. When she walked by on the way to the police station, she looked so happy and peaceful. I couldn't bring myself to destroy that beautiful look on her face with a crowbar. She looked so much more alive than I had ever seen her, and I couldn't take that life from her."

"You know what this means. You failed. James is going to kill you because your useless to him now. You let personal feelings get in the way of business."

"I know. I'd rather have you do it than anyone else, but before you do, let me tell you something: Amelia always let her feelings get in the way of business, but she found something that we never will."

"I became what I am today because I don't let feelings in. You're my best friend, and I do love you, but I'm afraid I have to kill you now."

"I knew you'd say that. I'd rather it be you than anyone else. I love you too."

Cai didn't stand up, he just sat there as Spenser lifted his bat. Spenser felt a wrenching in his chest as he looked down at that black haired head. Just knowing what was about to happen made him remember with perfect clarity, all the moments that he and his lover had shared.

But business is business.

And the bat swung down with all the grace of a ballet dancer. It hit that dark haired head with a crushing noise and Spenser knew that his beautiful friend had felt no pain and died instantly.

That's more than he could say for Amelia; her end would be unpleasant. Someone had to pay for the death of Cai. Spenser swore it by the blood mixed with tears that now soaked into the cold ground.

But like everyone else in this twisted drama, Spenser lacked one important detail. He had no idea that James was dead and that Cai would have lived, had Spenser put his feelings first, but it was a lesson that he would never learn.

***

Shortly after the death of Cai, Amelia arrived at the house where she knew that Jack would be. It was small, with gray siding and dirty windows. The paint on the weather faded door was cracked and peeling, while the flowerbed was overgrown with weeds and the lawn was a strange yellow-brown color that reminded her of stale bread. This was the place, so she knocked on the door and pulled out her already blood stained knife.

The door opened.

Amelia let out a vicious snarl as she slashed madly with her knife. Face, throat, chest, it didn't matter where she cut him so long as he bled. Rage coursed through her body with every strike as she slashed, hacked and stabbed. Finally the body fell and was still. Amelia sat down on the steps and pulled out a hankerchief to wipe her gore-covered hands.

Her work was complete and she had no regrets.

She left the body there and began walking to nowhere. She had no particular destination in mind, because she would know the right place when she got there. About ten minutes after leaving the house, she turned down an alley that she knew was a dead end. All that was left now was to wait.

***

By the time Spenser had caught up with Amelia, the sun had set. He saw her turn into an alley and followed her there.

The alley was a dead end. Where could she have gone? Spenser caught sight of movement to his left and noticed someone leaning against the brick wall. It was her.

"I suppose you've come to kill me, well it's a bit late for that now. I've been dead for a while now."

Spenser was startled. This wasn't the reaction he had been expecting. There were no cries for mercy or forgivness, just a cold and lazy smile. Amelia stepped into the partial light offered by the street lamp above. The light of the lamp and her face were reflected back at Spenser in the many puddles in the alley. The effect was beautiful and surreal.

For the first time in his life Spenser was truly frightened.

"I suggest you get on with it. We don't have all night and I'm losing patience."

He needed no second bidding, he swung the bat.

Amelia's world exploded into extreme and unending, pain as she felt her kneecaps shatter. She collapsed onto the ground. She felt the cold, wet concrete against her cheek.

The bat swung again.

She felt her ribs snap and puncture her lungs. Her breath came in short ragged gasps as she struggled to breathe, her lungs filling with blood.

The bat swung again.

Her shoulder was mashed into its socket with a sickening crunch.

The world was fading fast and Amelia could feel the darkness rushing to her. She saw the bat soaring downward to meet her skull. At any moment she knew she would be no more, a whisper in the wind. Her last thought before the blackness hit her was:

"I have no regrets."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

pease dont hate me pease dont hate me pease dont hate me

review oh and the best songs to listen to while reading this chapter is

blue october-hate me

and disturbed-darkness


	8. Charecter list

CHERACTERS FROM ICE!!

The Workers:

Amelia Carroway- A heroin addict. Is 14 years old. Her real name is Morgan Carley. She works for James along with Jeremy, Spenser, Cai and Arlais. Even though she works for James, she hates him. She runs meth and occasionally makes other deliveries. She has grown heartless and cold from the constant abuse she receives for being a bisexual. Apparently bagging groceries doesn't pay enough to buy heroin.

Jeremy Marlet- A meth addict. Is 14 years old. Is bisexual but hasn't come out about it.

Spenser Lee- A meth addict. Is 16 years old. Was a runner before he became a hitman. His weapon of choice is a baseball bat. When he's not too busy doing that, he follows the runners when they make deliveries to more dangerous clients.

Cai Dawson- A meth addict. Is 15 years old. He also trails the runners to protect them. His weapon of choice is the crowbar. Has the habit of popping up out of nowhere to protect the people he's following. Most the time they don't even know he's there until he appears.

Arlais- A cocaine addict, Is 15 years old. She is a runner but also is a prostitute when she's not busy making deliveries. She came from a home in which she was sexually abused. Everyone suspects that she is a runaway due to the fact that she never gives her last name and no one has any idea where she lives. She doesn't like to talk about her past. She doesn't talk much at all really and is distant even with her coworkers.

James- Is 21 years old. He is the boss of the whole operation but even he answers to someone. He is Jeremy's cousin and is the reason that Jeremy is involved with meth in the first place. That is the reason that Amelia hates him so much.

The Clients:

Just so you know, all of the clients are meth addicts.

Jack Frell- Is 23 years old. A pretty scary guy. He is a pedophile with a liking to teenage boys. Has the tendency to feel up Jeremy whenever he goes to make a delivery.

Carl Miren- Is 36 years old. A nice guy that has fallen into drugs because of the death of his wife. The runners have the tendency to fight over making deliveries to him. It is rumored that he is the only person that Arlais will willingly talk to.

Michael Welch- Is 17 years old. A rich pretty-boy who thinks it's cool to do drugs. He treats the runners like dirt and they hate him because of it even though he always has the money to pay and isn't very dangerous.

Other Clients:

Demelza

Carly

Dennis

Ogden

Lacy

Nathaniel

Amelia's Friends from School:

Helen Wendell- Is 14 years old. Is one of Amelia's closest friends. She loves to look up funny pictures and videos. She knows about her friend's drug addiction and the work she does but knows that there isn't much she can do to prevent it.

Ramone Finch- Is 14 years old. A very close friend of Amelia. He is a cocky, arrogant, ass, who knows about Amelia's work and addiction. He seems to be under the impression that pretending that there is no problem will make it go away. Girls have the tendency to like him and stalk him. (much to the annoyance of Amelia because it makes him even more cocky)

Other People from School:

Hope

Ellen

Summer

Tom

Matt

Lisa

Nancy


	9. Chapter 9

At the end of "Ice," we all remember how Arlais ran off and Spenser killed Amelia. I'm considering doing a sequel, told in Spenser's point of view, called "Judgement." The problem is, that I also wanted to do a prequel OR sequel about Arlais, which would be called "Mercy." I can only do one at a time, so vote using the new thing that's over there ------

I'll probably end up doing them both, but I just need to see which to do first.

Judgement Summary:

After the utter destruction of the warehouse, Spenser finds himself without work. He decides to live his life in a far more honest manner, but the past threatens to overwhelm him. He gets a job at a small, family-run, grocery store, owned by an old Chinese man and his wife. Unfortunately, the world is far smaller than it seems...

*Just a note, "Judgement" is far less dark than "Ice." It's dark, but not that dark. And there is absolutely no romance.


End file.
